Clean up or mess more

I just received an SMS that I can mess up another class on Monday. It's for the elementary class and I'm thinking if I will take it or call it off. Things are getting more complicated and thoughts of last thursday's experience is clouding my mind. It feels like I'm needing a longer walk to think about it and see how it fits in the time line that I've set.

Sobrang nagkalat ako nung nakaraan at siguro dapat na akong mag walis sa Lunes.

so messed up

I had my demo for high school this afternoon and its a perfect disaster.It feels weird that I am doing the demo class when I am not applying for any position in the school. It was the invitation of one of the top executives of the school that lead me to it. The offer goes like why not try a demo class to see if I fit either in the high school department or in the elementary department. This is because our contract with them is about to end and that they want to keep me because of the rapport I have established with most if not all of the faculty and the students. Honestly it's tempting to join them, with all the good things I could see from my present situation and I that I could do when I'm in.
I told myself, this could be my break (or continuation of the chain at some sense).I have never practiced my degree eversince and I am beginning to loose my grip on my major. And this could lead me back to it. I anticipated this day well and even promised myself that I'll do my best to keep to their expectations. I gathered materials and even brought along this ThinkPad to be able to work more efficient on the topic they will give me. And so today came, when I entered the school I began to feel sick. This could be my natural reaction to a demo class, I feel so uneasy my co-teachers observed that I look pale and that I'm my temperature is high, I just ignored it and hoped that I could still do good with my demo. But I didn't. I can't blame the class because I see that most of them have been coopeative, it's all my fault. I did not give my best to them.

1200 & 1174

After almost three months I finally got my completion certificates for Stadard First Aid and Basic Life Support-CPR Training for Healthcare Providers. It's been a long week and the week ahead is promising another long one. I am almost done here in the drawing board and I am getting excited about starting with my new projects.

Too much time on the drawing board

Reaching a forked road could really be a dilemma but staying longer could spell a disaster. Not because those lagging behind may catch up but because seeing which road most of them have taken might affect my trail. I don't have much on my itinerary and it makes nothing much worthy of hiking. With the sound of the rushing waters, I know there's a river somewhere along my right side. I could also hear the sounds, from the other side of the river: laughter; foot steps, running and dancing. It sounds inviting and going out of the trail to cross the river is so tempting. It sounds so adventurous. I've been hanging here for a number of months now and I should be going. Will I cross the river? No. I’ll take the bridge.

8 points for 2008

1 Let go. Ive been harboring hatred, disappointment and bitterness, I'm letting them go and I'll pray that I will not miss them. I'll start by saying "I'm sorry". It's back to zero guys, now I can carry other loads!

2 Stale air breeds bacteria. There's fresh rushing air just above the fire truck. That means I have to make it to the truck more often so I could get that air (",)

3 Make the first move. Time will not wait for me so I'll do the same.

4 Face my fears.

5 Do more unselfish things. Be more active in the community, ministry and my workplace.

6 Don't judge too quickly.

7 Focus on my priorities. Last year I made my timeline, I'll make sure I stick to it. Good thing I didn't put much in it.

8 Lastly, read more. I am keeping a lot of reading materials in my shelf, flash drive and in my hard disk but never had a time to browse them. I have started this one, I am bringing reading materials to the headquarters specialy on the days I don't feel like there's a going to have an alarm.

Honestly, I may not even remembr me writing about this. So, I'll put it in one phrase: "Magpapakabait na po ako".