Chasing Personal Legends

When I was in grade 1 that I want to be a teacher, and it’s my secret. And I don’t want anybody to know that. The reason is that I’m not sure if I can be one when grew up. Another reason and just as irrational as the first one, is that I don’t want people to expect me to be. I feel like their writing my story. But it really doesn’t make much sense to me to be a teacher—I also want to be a painter or a scientist then. Then just want to be a teacher because everybody’s listening to you, they believe you, they trust you, as the students would always quote “sabi ni teacher eh”. Every time I’m in the classroom I would always wonder: what if I’m the one standing there in front of this class? Could I also present it that way? Will my class listen? But there are also times when I say to myself that if I’m the one standing there I could present things better, I can make more students interested in what I’m saying, I know more than what he’s saying!
Thoughts of being a teacher docks somewhere along my 4th Grade and being a scientist or an inventor or a painter takes the mainstream. This time I read a lot about Da Vinci, I even tried to replicate some of his works with pencil. My eyes marvel with his ideas and inventions. They sometimes look weird and awkward but all the same they are works of an excellent mind. I also began my interest with mechanical concepts: gears, gyros and also tried to build a concept on perpetual machine that would provide power to something while providing itself power to continue working.
These thoughts also docked somewhere in the middle of 5th Grade when I felt another legend that I may pursue: Priesthood. Being exposed to parish work for almost everyday as an Altar Server, I felt that this could be my field, the sanctuary could be my classroom and the sacraments my science. I have fancied about everything in being a priest from rising from the ranks up to being the Holy See, uniting all the Christians, promoting World peace, restructuring the church to allow the merging of all Christians. I was at the height of it when I suddenly lost my heart to it--that was when I entered high school. I entered a Catholic school to at least keep in me the “call” but the other way came, I was introduced to a wild world and lost my “hearing”. Although I lost my hearing, I kept my membership with the Ministry. Being a teacher regained the mainstream during my sophomore year and this time with a clearer sight of the course ahead: Biology. I find Biology as something which I could easily get into—learning and teaching plus the fact that integrating it with everyday life and faith would be very simple and subtle. I also wished to be a Vet that time but being a teacher weighs more for me. I suspend all matters which involve priesthood to see if the call would go until college or beyond. I finally convinced myself to be a teacher in Biology when a teacher in my senior year told our class that I will be a teacher in History someday because she ignited that interest in me, which I also promised to myself that I will never be one.
I left the stream for the fast river I pursued to be a Biology teacher. Aiming for the sea, I keep all things that I’ll need for the bigger waves. Calls from the distant lands can sometimes be heard but I kept my course. And now I’m here, right in the middle of the sea with no lands in sight around me. Which course should I take next? I don’t know yet. But one thing for sure I enjoy my ride chasing my personal legends…